I'm sure a lot of you are having trouble concentrating at work right now because of the malicious rumor running around the internet that Justin Bieber has SYPHILIS. Now, I am not Justin Bieber's doctor of genitalia—however, I can say with 80 percent certainty that Justin Bieber is not infected with the sexually transmitted disease that eventually drove George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte and Franz Schubert to their death. How can I be so certain? Because the following report is so hilariously and poorly written, it simply cannot be true.
